I'm going to Israel this summer. Any normal person would probably put an exclamation point after that. I mean don't get me wrong, I'm excited, but I'm also a little apprehensive.

Most people going to Israel would probably be extremely excited or, the opposite, scared because of the "conflict" that the media at times exaggerates (or completely disregards). My fear isn't about the situation, it isn’t due to any potential outside threat. I've been to Israel five times before, and that's where my biggest fear lies.

Let me put my apprehension in retrospect.

I've been going to Camp Ramah in Wisconsin for the past six summers. I honestly cannot imagine a summer without camp, which is a contributing factor to my apprehension. Most of my friends are going to Israel with me on Ramah's Seminar Program (an optional week in Poland and then six weeks in Israel), but there will be tons of other campers from other Ramah's on the same program and we’ll be on the other side of the world. So although I’ll still be with my camp friends, it won’t really be the camp I know at all.

I’ve been to Israel five times. I realize I’ve already mentioned that fact and it may seem trivial. I have no reason to complain about a blessing that many others do not ever experience. But it’s the fact that those experiences are changing that scares me the most. I have a lot of family in Israel, which is why I’ve been there so many times. All those times I’ve been with my family, experiencing Israel less as a tourist and more like an Israeli. My cousins in Israel are your typical Israelis. When we’re with them we hike and witness the Israel you get to see if you’re living there, not visiting for a few weeks. Because of this, I haven’t seen all of Israel’s major sites. Though I’m looking forward to going to all those places this summer, I’m scared for the hiking, the desert, the seas. I’m scared for what I’ve already seen with my family. I understand it will be a completely different experience, but I’m scared that it will make my Israel, the Israel I’ve been to in the past, different.

I don’t have many expectations. If anything, my expectations for this summer are clouded by fears of change. I’ve been to Israel before and I’m going this summer to witness a whole new Israel. I may be hesitant, but I do know I will remember it forever. And despite my apprehensions, I’m sure it will be beyond my expectations, beyond anything I’ve ever experienced before.