It's impossible to glance at a newspaper these days and not see something in the headlines about Israel. This week, in particular, I have found myself constantly checking the TV and the Internet for updates on the disengagement; thankfully, it seems to be running pretty smoothly.

However, if you had asked me what was going on in Israel two months ago, I probably couldn't have told you. I had heard vaguely about preparations for a disengagement, but I wasn't really sure what that meant, and I didn't bother to find out. Hearing about the latest terror attacks made me sad, but I would usually brush off the bad news fairly quickly. Israel just seemed like a whole other world to me, and to be honest I didn't feel much of a connection.

But that all changed late this June, when I stepped off of a plane full of Young Judaeans and into the Holy Land itself. My group was called Young Judaea-Machon, and made up of 140 young Zionists who came together to explore Israel and find out what their movement was really about.

When I first arrived in Israel, I didn't really feel like I was there; riding a bus in a group of 40 Young Judaea kids, it felt more like camp to me. But everything changed the first time we went to the Kotel. Seeing the wall, touching it, being surrounded by hundreds of other Jews immersed in prayer, I felt a real connection with my Jewish heritage for the first time. Placing my hands on the stones, placing a note between the cracks, I felt like I was touching everything I had grown up learning about my religion, and feeling that it was real.

The Kotel also made me feel like spiritually, and even physically, I was the closest to God that I have ever been. I especially felt this way on my second visit, when we went there to perform our first Havdallah service in Israel. The two hour walk felt more like two minutes, and standing in a circle with 140 kids my age who held my same beliefs, and my same hopes and dreams for the country was unbelievable. As cliché as it sounds, I felt like I was a part of something big and powerful, and that whole evening I felt as if God was closely watching over us.

The first half of our trip also featured lots of hikes, which at first I dreaded, but I ended up really getting to like. The hikes were probably the hardest part of the trip for me, but this only made me physically and mentally stronger in the end. I remember during a few of our earlier hikes I felt like I couldn't make it at the end, but by our later hikes I was always surprised when they ended and ready for more.

One of these hikes was the one up Masada. After sleeping in a Bedouin tent for a few hours, my group awoke at 3:45 in the morning to climb the nearby mountain. After the challenging but short hike up the mountain, we had a prayer and Torah service, discussed Masada's history, and watched the sun rise over the Negev. This experience was one of my most treasured on the entire trip, because it combined all the most important things about Israel: the religion, the politics, and the natural beauty.

We explored Israeli politics more deeply during the second half of the program. Visiting Har Herzl in Jerusalem was a particularly memorable experience, because it holds the graves of so many people who have risked their lives, and often given them up, for Israel. Seeing all the names I recognized, and even all the ones that I didn't, made me feel really grateful and indebted to those who have stood up for the country.

One of people whose grave at Har Herzl really stood out to me, and probably to others, was Yitzhak Rabin. I still remember when I was seven years old, my mom sadly giving me the news of his assassination. My mind was just unable to grasp the thought that Rabin had been killed by an Israeli, a Jew, one of his own. I couldn't figure out why someone would want to sabotage his own country. But visiting the site of the assassination, where a map has been drawn out to show exactly where everyone involved was standing when it occurred, made it more real, and even more sad, to me. My group stood around Rabin's memorial and sang "Shir Leshalom" (A Song for Peace), the song he sang to his people the night of his death. Doing this made me feel better, because even just by singing, I knew we were doing something for Israel, at least showing it our love and support.

I had so many more amazing experiences in Israel than the ones I've written about, some of them more spiritual, some that were just for plain fun, and some that were really sad. The trip changed me so much mentally and emotionally, and being back in America, I don't even know if I can call this country "home" anymore. My connection to Israel and to Judaism, particularly the Jewish culture, has deepened more than I ever imagined it could. My Young Judaea experience was so special to me; I bonded with so many amazing people, and I grew up so much. Nothing will ever compare to this summer, but I'll always have the wonderful memories, and I know that going back to Israel many times, no matter who I'm with or what I do there, will help me to keep them alive.