When I was younger, the High Holidays had always been an opportunity for me to miss school without the burden of make-up homework and tests. My non-Jewish friends would always thank me for being Jewish because they wouldn’t have homework, either. But as I grew up and learned more about the values of Judaism and the significance of our heritage, I found a deeper meaning in the High Holidays, rather than just a “get-out-of-school pass.”

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are arguably the most important holidays in the Jewish calendar, especially considering that neither is related to a historical event but rather are strictly religious. Rosh Hashanah, translated as “Head of the Year,” is the Jewish New Year. As such, Jews begin the 10 “Days of Awe.” Although the Jewish New Year and American New Year celebrations are vastly different, both serve as a time of reflection and renewal.

After my bat mitzvah, I felt more connected with Judaism. I felt obligated to learn and understand more about Jewish traditions and the meanings behind them. For the first time in my life, I attended the adult services on the High Holidays. After all the “training” services I had attended before my bat mitzvah, I actually knew what was going on.

Sitting in temple with hundreds of other congregants was overwhelming. I began to understand the meaning of being Jewish and the unbroken faith that links the generations together. As I sat in services, I remembered something from my observance when I was younger. Every year after services, my dad and I would go with the rabbis and a bunch of people from synagogue to participate in the ritual of Tashlich. At the river, we would all take a piece from a loaf of bread. Instead of eating the bread, we would recite a prayer and then toss it into the river. My dad had explained to me that the breadcrumbs represented our sins for the year, and tossing them into a flowing river allowed the current to take them away.

Between the blowing of the shofar, the huge break-fast meals at the end of Yom Kippur and other traditions, participating in Tashlich was my favorite. Being able to repent for all my wrongdoings during the year made me feel so good. I would always make sure to tell my parents, friends and sister I was sorry for everything I had done wrong during the year. Unlike the New Year’s resolutions I made on Dec. 31, which never lasted through the night, I always tried so hard to have a perfect attitude.

Year after year, I would keep up my “perfect” behavior for about a week before I noticed I had fallen back into my old habits of bickering with my sister or arguing with my parents. It wasn’t until last year, when I heard the cantor sing the words, “On Rosh Hashanah it is inscribed, and on Yom Kippur it is sealed,” that I began to wonder if tossing away breadcrumbs could really atone for the sins of an entire year, and essentially save my life.

While it’s hard to imagine that simply saying a prayer and tossing crumbs into a river could, in fact, make up for all my less-than-perfect behavior, I realized that it alone doesn’t make up for my sins; honestly repenting and apologizing to my friends, family, myself and God is what makes up for sins. The breadcrumbs are just a display of remorse.

Since discovering that, High Holiday services have been much more satisfying and fulfilling, as I find it within myself to plead for forgiveness and inherently, for my life.

Lauren Silva is a freshman from Sarasota, Fla. She’s the religious-education vice president of her USY chapter, SRQUSY. She writes for her school newspaper and loves music, hanging out with her friends, reading magazines (like JVibe!), meeting new people and learning more about Judaism. She’s also a member of the JVibe Teen Advisory Board.