Ever wonder how Israeli and American opinions compare on topics like religion, sex, intermarriage and just being Jewish in general? The new Jewish Reconnection Project is here to show you. The cool web video series showcases dialogues between a group of young adult Jews in New York and Jerusalem. The goal of the series is to highlight the diverse individual perspectives among the global Jewish community and to help us all better understand one another, ourselves and our shared history.

Check out the second four-minute episode of this series called “Necessary Criteria—Intermarriage” and then read what four JVibers had to say about it. If you missed our discussion on the first episode, “A Place to Call Home—Israel vs. Diaspora,” check it out here.

Here’s what Michele Pinczuk, 14, says:
The debate over this controversial subject is very complicated and elementary at the same time. Although marrying outside of the Jewish faith might seem like a harmonious melding of different cultures, it can also cause great confusion and conflict down the road for your future children, as well as contention between you and your significant other.

While one of the Jewish-American video participants explained that she was raised as a Jew, her Jewish relatives would gather around their family’s holiday tree to celebrate Christmas. This concept befuddles me.

How can you be both Jewish and celebrate the coming of Jesus and the birth of Christianity? What do you ultimately believe in as a child, or for that matter, when you reach adulthood? It seems like an impossible notion to digest. Perhaps it’s more beneficial and less confusing to practice one faith in your home when you’re raising children. However, without kids, it’s pretty much a moot point.

I thought the Jewish Israelis possessed a stronger opinion about interfaith marriages than the Jewish Americans. Once again, the Jewish Reconnection Project hit on another hot topic for us to discuss.

Elizabeth Kirshner, 13, responds:
Michele, I feel that it’s impossible for the two religions to “meld.” In order to compromise, each side much give, therefore sacrificing their own practices. A marriage is not just a union, but a relationship for two people to grow, increasing their collective beliefs, as opposed to jeopardizing them.

As for the woman who doesn’t see religion as a factor in choosing a mate, she’s living proof that intermarriage breeds confusion and gradually dilutes religious passion, generation by generation. In concurrence with what you mentioned above, a child becomes confused and conflicted. Being “accepting of other cultures” doesn’t mean marrying into them.         

Whether it’s from my traditional upbringing or personal feelings, I don’t see intermarriage as positive and agree with Michele for the most part.

Here’s what Jaime Bolker, 18, thinks:
I mostly disagree with both of you. The only time I think it would be a problem for two people of different religions to marry would be if they are both very religious, in which case it probably wouldn’t even be a question. I’m a firm believer in the idea of letting everyone live their own lives; if you’re Jewish and you fall in love with someone of a different religion, that’s fantastic.

There’s a difference between sacrificing your beliefs and falling in love. My mother is Jewish and my father is Roman Catholic. I’ve been to church and temple, I have celebrated Christmas and Hanukkah and I feel like I’m a better person because of it. It has helped me to better understand what about the Jewish faith I agree with and what I don’t.

Growing up with two faiths has also helped me to be more open to other religions and not always think the Jewish way is the right way. That’s one of my favorite things about being Jewish—we are supposed to struggle with our beliefs, we are supposed to question things and test things. I want to raise my kids to be Jewish but I don’t want them to be close-minded about anything. If my boyfriend wasn’t Jewish and forced me to sacrifice my religion to marry him, I wouldn’t marry him in the first place.

Jeffrey Rollman, 16, shares his response:
Michele and Elizabeth share views very similar to mine. But Jaime’s argument doesn’t hold any truth for me. I believe that someone can only practice one religion. One may be a “half-Jew” in the sense that only one of their parents is Jewish, but one cannot be a “half-Jew” in terms of religious belief. It’s up to each of us to decide how we want to live our lives. I don’t think one should just pick and choose their beliefs, asking Jesus for forgiveness one day, then asking for repentance from God the next day. I believe intermarriage is a dangerous thing because it can fracture a family: The children should only have one religion and this would be much simplified by the parents sharing religious beliefs.

I don’t see any problem with learning about another religion or even perhaps listening in on a church service, but one needs to set a boundary. Once someone is set in their religion and beliefs, I believe it will be even easier to learn about other beliefs because they have a firm, established identity. Personally, I don’t have any qualms attending a Christmas party because I know I’m Jewish, and my parents don’t have to worry about “losing me” because of the solid foundation through my home, synagogue and Jewish community.

Michele Pinczuk is a teen journalist who freelances for several publications, including The New York Times. She lives in the Washington, D.C., area. Michele loves New York and Saturday Night Live. Her role models are Gilda Radner, Golda Meir, her grandmom, mom and Aunt Sylvia.

Elizabeth Kirshner is an NCSYer from Detroit, Mich. She loves Jewish geography, lightly salted matzah and summers at Camp Stone. In her spare time, she enjoys hanging out with her friends, watching the Isaac Mizrahi show and quoting Golda Meir.

Jaime Bolker is a student at International High School in San Francisco. She’s a pop-culture junkie and is currently obsessed with Dawson’s Creek re-runs and Bob Marley.

Jeffrey E. Rollman recently spent a semester abroad in Israel. He lives in Los Angeles and likes running cross country, politics, reading and weight lifting.